My sister and I went on a walk yesterday. We started as we usually do, by going up the slight hill that merges into a sidewalk parallel to the main road, but that’s still within the confines of our apartment complex. When we reached the top, we decided that we were tired of walking the same route. Seeing the same buildings, the same trees, the same people (at a distance). So, we decided to do something we hadn’t done at all during our month-long time in quarantine. We decided to cross the street. And I’m well aware of the fact of how depressingly anti-climatic that sounds, but my quarantine has been so unbearably uneventful that this is actually the most exciting thing that’s happened to me so far. So, we took a walk in the neighborhood across the street from our apartment. An activity that, pre-COVID-19, would definitely not warrant the dedication of an entire blog post. And I suppose the walk itself still doesn’t warrant the dedication of an entire blog post, but perhaps the simple changes in walking etiquette do.

Pre-coronavirus, walking down the same sidewalk of a stranger required, at most, a shift to the side to make room to pass each other. Now, I feel a combination of panic and awkwardness when I see someone walking my way from a distance. Should I cross the street? Should I wait for them to? Am I offending them if I do? It has come to the point where I’ve adopted the same habit of looking both ways when crossing a street into my routine when turning onto a sidewalk. If I see a person walking to my right, I turn to the left. This is now the way of the world. We take walks to keep ourselves sane and to retain some normality during this time, and we do so while avoiding social interaction at all costs. Of course, I recognize the necessity and the importance in this, it just has me thinking about what we will do when all this is over.

I know the virus will subside upon the development of a vaccine, and that effective measures will be taken to prevent it from spreading any further. And yet, the thought of things going back to normal seems so far into the future that it’s almost abstract in my mind. It’s as if I can’t imagine things going back to how they were before. I can’t imagine feeling comfortable passing a stranger on the sidewalk without fear in the back of my mind. I can’t imagine coming back from the grocery store and immediately putting food away without wiping down the packaging first. I can’t imagine feeling at ease when, on public transportation, a fellow passenger coughs into his or her arm. I can’t imagine not feeling the fragility that I feel now whenever I step outside.

I think, when all of this is over, that there will be those who go back to their normal routines–who will act as if the pandemic was an inconvenient intermission in life. I don’t think I could be one of those people. And, of course, I think we may have reason to believe that there will be regulations put in place that will make going back to normalcy a non-option. But, in conjunction with these regulations, I think my family and I will have to adopt our own. I can’t imagine us not doing so.

Everything is so different now. Normal, everyday tasks are now coated in a layer of fear, and are deemed as risks. It makes me sad when I think of the future. Not because I don’t have hope for it, but because I feel like it’ll never be the same. I was only two years old when the tragedy of 9/11 caused a shift in society and security measures, but still I’m aware of the fact that things were never the same. The world before 9/11 is not one that I have ever known, nor is it one that I would probably even recognize. I don’t even know if this situation is comparable. Is it appropriate to regard this pandemic as being on the same level as 9/11? I’m not entirely sure. However, what I am sure of is that there will be regulated changes made in our culture and society that will be out of anyone’s control. There will be stark differences between life before COVID-19 and life after it, differences that have already started to completely shift our culture. And while these changes will surely be at the expense of some of our normal routines, I think I speak for most people when I say that I would take safety and wellness over the fantasy of things going back to the way they were any day. These inevitable changes will be for the better, and we will adjust.